Protecting my right knee has become nearly as dramatic as Saving Private Ryan. And it’s got me wondering if the ole right knee is worth it. I was given very little instruction about using these dang crutches, but hey, if I have to use them, I’m going to do it like a champ. They’re not stopping me from anything…much. I figured out that when you’re in a hurry you can skip on crutches. It goes like this, crutch, swing, step, hop, hop. Again, crutch, swing, step, hop, hop. And when you don’t have to go far, instead of crutching it you can just hop. In fact you can pretty much hop all over the place, steadying yourself on furniture, walls, whatever. It works great, until you notice pain in your severely overworked left knee. Then you have to sit down to rub it out, and your hips scream at you. A current of sciatic nerve shoots through the glutes and down the left leg. The achey lower back begs for an ice pack. But the right knee? She’s feeling fine. Coddled like a baby.
Seriously, I got the message and brought the abuse down a notch. No more hopping, just use the crutches properly. Which is what I was doing last week when the left crutch slipped out from under me. I didn’t fall. I used the pampered right leg to save myself, put all my weight on it, fast. Now I’m wondering if I undid all the weeks of favoring it in one fell swoop. No time to worry about that, I’ve got bigger problems. I wrenched my right arm, shoulder, pecs, lats in the near fall. Whoooey, that hurts. Or could it be that I cracked a rib? Whatever the case, walking on crutches aggravates it something terrible. So now I’m down for the count. I’ve decided that my bedroom with its soft wheat-yellow walls and impressionistic wildflower border, and big windows letting in lots of light, is a perfectly fine place to stay for a couple of days. I’ve got a telephone, laptop, good books, and lots of pillows. I’ll walk gingerly to the bathroom when necessary and nowhere else. I’ll reach and lift only with my right arm. I’ll let Tom and Nathan wait on me. Two or three days of this and I’ll be better. Regenerated. Right? Watch me. I can do this…I hope.